Dealing with the Disconnect: Distorted Body Image

In episode 3 of the Simple Nourished Living podcast (https://www.youtube.com/@MarthaMcKinnon), hosts Martha and Peter discuss personal updates, including their experiences with cooking and the use of air fryers. They then delve into a heartfelt question from a listener about body image and weight perception, exploring the common struggle of not recognizing one’s weight and body changes and the impact of societal expectations on self-worth. The conversation emphasizes the importance of self-compassion and mindfulness in addressing these issues.

Key Takeaways

It is common for us humans to experience distorted body image perceptions.

Reference points like clothing fit can help gauge weight changes.

Self-worth is not tied to weight or appearance.

Mindful eating can improve awareness of body changes.

Cooking should be fun and adaptable to personal preferences.

Air fryers can be a versatile cooking tool.

Self-compassion is crucial for emotional health.

Societal expectations can distort our self-image.

Personal experiences can resonate with many listeners.

It is important to challenge negative self-talk with love and compassion.

Video Transcript

Martha McKinnon (00:00)
Hi, welcome to the Simple Nourished Living Podcast. I’m Martha and this is my partner and brother Peter.

Peter Morrison (00:08)
Hello.

Martha McKinnon (00:11)
Hello, how are you doing?

Peter Morrison (00:12)
Hi. I’m good. How are you today?

Martha McKinnon (00:15)
Good. So this is podcast number three.

Peter Morrison (00:18)
Yes, we’re moving right along.

Martha McKinnon (00:20)
We’re moving right along. We’re sticking with it. We haven’t given up yet. We’re not quitters. We’re going to just keep hanging in there. So today we have a question that was submitted that we’re going to address. But before we get into that, so what’s new and good in your world?

Peter Morrison (00:25)
No, yet. No, yet.

Well, it’s another week. It’s a little warmer. So that’s nice. I’m in Southern California and the winds have died down somewhat, but they’re supposed to be picking back up again. And there is a chance of rain, I think maybe this weekend. So fingers crossed that happens.

Peter Morrison (01:09)
I guess it’s pretty well known in the Weight Watchers world, the pumpkin puree, chocolate cake mix recipe, like you did with the muffins and cookies. Well, I came across a sort of rift on that recently where it’s a small batch cookies done in the air fryer. So I got the ingredients and I was hoping to work on that today, but I haven’t had time.

Martha McKinnon (01:19)
Fun.

Peter Morrison (01:32)
But that’s something I’ll hopefully do in the next couple days and being a small family of two. I love baking. But we neither of us like having lots of sweets around, so I think this makes either four or six cookies. I love using my air fryer, but I don’t think I’ve really tried baking in it yet, so I’m curious to see how they turn out.

Martha McKinnon (01:48)
Cool.

Martha McKinnon (02:02)
Fun, that’s fun. Yeah, pumpkin puree is really one of those magical secret ingredients, right? That is used as a replacement in many different baked recipes, cutting away, know, cutting and you’re adding, you’re not only, you know, cutting away calories, but you’re adding like nutrition, you know, which is the more, the more nourishment and the more nutrition we can give our bodies, I think the happier they are.

Peter Morrison (02:13)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Martha McKinnon (02:26)
That’s right.

Peter Morrison (02:26)
It’s easy to swap too, because if you don’t like chocolate, could use vanilla, you could use a spice cake, it’s so simple to adapt.

Martha McKinnon (02:31)
Right. Yeah, fun. And I like the air fryer, I treated myself to a new air fryer for Christmas, my Christmas gift to myself and I’m having fun with it. It’s sort of like, I feel like you have to keep finding ways to make cooking fun. And forever I’ve said like my slow cooker, I just love it because it’s so easy. Instant pot, sort of still kind of a love hate because I feel like it needs a little more attention maybe than I have sometimes.

Martha McKinnon (02:59)
But air fryer, this particular air fryer, yeah, I’m having a lot of fun with it. I roasted my first batch of potatoes. I mean, am I excited that potatoes are like, as an Irish girl, that potatoes are now zero points on Weight Watchers? So yeah, so I just roasted potatoes in it recently and bought a rotisserie chicken. So talk about an easy dinner, right? Just roasting the potatoes, you know, carving up the rotisserie chicken and making a bag of salad. And it’s like dinner, mean, dinner doesn’t get much easier than that. And so, yeah.

Peter Morrison (03:08)
Cool. You could probably throw even some like broccoli florets in with the potatoes. And so what I like about the air fryer is I agree with you on the Instant Pot, I love it, but I still, I’m comfortable, but I’m not comfortable experimenting with it, where the air fryer, I’m at the point now where I feel like I’ll pick an ingredient, pick some spices and I feel comfortable just sort of playing around versus following something strictly step by step, which is where I’m still at with my instant pot.

Martha McKinnon (04:10)
Yeah, and the air fryer, I noticed a few questions that have come in from readers for suggested topics. And I think there were a couple, you know, people wanting more air fryer recipes. And that’s going to be something to consider because what I’m hoping to help people understand is you don’t really need a recipe specific to the air fryer. You just have to think of it as a different device and kind of understand some of the ins and outs.

Martha McKinnon (04:35)
And I think that’s going to create a lot of flexibility and freedom for people if they just start thinking of it as like a mini oven so that anything you can cook in the air fryer, anything you can cook in the oven essentially you can cook in the air fryer. Just helping people understand that it doesn’t have to be recipe specific and that can just give you lots more freedom because you can start, it’s like well any sheet pan recipe right but if you were making just you want to just enough for one or two it would totally work in the air fryer.

Peter Morrison (04:44)
Mm-hmm. Right.

Yeah, I think I read somewhere it was the air fryer was described as a small countertop convection oven with a hot air blown around.

Martha McKinnon (05:07)
And it’s self-contained, which makes it nice. It’s easy to clean. It’s right on the counter. It’s great for like one or two, right? You know, and it makes it fun, you know? So yeah, so there will be more about the air fryer to come.

Peter Morrison (05:18)
Yeah. Cool. Looking forward to it.

Martha McKinnon (05:28)
All right, so shall we move on to our question?

Peter Morrison (05:32)
Yes, absolutely. I will read it. One moment. So this question came in from a reader from Simple Nourished Living. Her name is Patty. And her question or comment is, I believe Weight Watchers is the best, most sensible way to lose and maintain one’s weight. I have followed Weight Watchers on and off since 1978. My question might be unusual.

Peter Morrison (06:00)
Over the years, I have noticed that when I am heavy, I don’t realize how heavy I truly am. And when I am slim, I never feel slim enough. Back in 1979, I weighed 106 pounds. I was five feet, one inches tall. Yet I still believed my thighs were huge. I look back at pictures of me growing up and I was not heavy, but I was told I was. Is there a name for this?

How can people overcome this? Thank you so much, I really enjoy your site.

Martha McKinnon (06:37)
I mean a really heartfelt question and one that I totally related to. I know she said you know is there a name for this and I almost think it’s called like being human because I don’t think it’s maybe as uncommon as we think it is. You know we have these thoughts inside of our heads and we think that we’re unusual and we’re the only people to have them, and then you put it out into the world and I think we’re gonna find out a lot of people have had this experience. I know I have. I mean, it just totally resonated with me because what got me to Weight Watchers in the first place back in the early 1990s was not, not necessarily how I felt. it was seeing a picture of myself. I knew my clothes were getting tight. but I wasn’t one to weigh myself and I felt okay.

And I think, weight goes up and down so gradually that it’s not like you suddenly have this major shift in how you feel. It’s just not how it works. And again, I’ll go back to mindless eating around that where he basically said that we need…

What’s the word he used? going to have to look at my notes here that we need reference points, almost benchmarks and reference points to know whether we’re gaining weight or not. That’s why you get on the scale, right? Or from how your clothes are fitting, right? Right. The belt suddenly like you’re having to move your belt in or belt out the belt notch. So you need these outside reference points because in and of itself, we don’t really feel it.

Peter Morrison (07:57)
That’s what I personally use, yeah.

Martha McKinnon (08:07)
We might feel the way I sometimes will feel it is like on my yoga mat. Like if I’m trying to do a certain pose and I feel like my belly’s getting in the way, then that would be a clue. But again, that’s sort of an outside benchmark, right? Or if I’m suddenly trying to walk up and down stairs and I’m like, my gosh, this feels like it’s taking more effort or less effort.

Peter Morrison (08:14)
Hmm.

Do you notice a difference in energy levels or like, you feel sluggish or do you not sleep well?

Martha McKinnon (08:37)
But again, those might have to happen over time before it dawns on you. It might be so gradual. I sometimes notice it more when the scales going down, like suddenly you’re like, I have more energy. Right. Or like I said, I sometimes feel it on the yoga, like on the yoga mat, like if you’re doing a pose, like a plow pose or something, and suddenly it’s like, my God, my belly’s in the way. But otherwise, I think we just we don’t know.

Martha McKinnon (08:59)
In Mindless Eating, Brian Wansink refers to a case in his book of people who have been in prison or in jail or in prison for a certain amount of time. And you you get matriculated through and they put you in an orange jumpsuit that’s very light, sort of loose. And, and suddenly you get out a few months or few years later and you go to put your clothes on and they don’t fit anymore. And it’s like, what’s that about?

Peter Morrison (09:25)
Hmm.

Martha McKinnon (09:28)
And, and so they asked these people and it’s like, you didn’t know, you didn’t have that sense that your pants were getting too tight because you were in this. It wasn’t because the food was great, you know, wasn’t, but it was really the fact that they didn’t have that benchmark. It’s like, well, I always knew when my belt, when I needed to loosen my belt, that it was time or my pants were getting too tight, that it was time to like address this. And so that is just another reflection of the importance of the fact that this is not unusual, that this happens a lot the fact that we just not really don’t really feel it.

Like if you close your eyes right you’re going to feel how you feel. You’re not going to, you know, unless you’re wearing pants that are way too tight, right? You’re just going to feel how you feel. You’re not going to feel heavy or light or, or whatever. So that’s a really great awareness that she had. mean, and it, and it is, I think very common. And like I said, I started Weight Watchers because of a picture, and I followed through on it. Cause like, cause the picture was shocking to me. The fact that I really, looked a lot heavier in that picture than I had saw myself even in the mirror. And that will happen too, right, because the camera can…

Peter Morrison (10:35)
add 10 pounds.

Martha McKinnon (10:35)
can deceive us a little bit. So that’s part of it and I think many people will tell you that it was, it was a comment somebody made or a picture that they saw that caused them, you know, or often it can be that, that will cause them to show up for their first Weight Watchers meeting.

Martha McKinnon (10:59)
And I did, and I stepped on the scale and I had no idea how much I had weighed, because I didn’t weigh myself regularly. So I think that’s pretty common that that does happen. And the same thing on the other side of it. I mean, I’ve had both experiences that Patty’s describing. There have been times when I got pretty vigilant. I was following the program really closely. I was leading Weight Watchers meetings in Phoenix and got well under my goal weight.

Once I got under my goal weight, I’m almost like teetering on the sort of the low end of the range and didn’t really feel too skinny by any sense. I might look in the mirror and say like she did, those thighs could use a little work. And it was only like, again, seeing a picture of myself where I looked like, think mom at one point was calling me olive oil, because my hair was dark and I was, you know, I had gotten pretty slender. And then I ran into a friend who just hadn’t seen me in a while and was like, are you okay? Are you sick? So in her mind, I had sort of tipped, you know, more slim than I had probably ever been and it didn’t, like wasn’t feeling it, wasn’t feeling it.

Peter Morrison (12:17)
I’ve actually had that experience too with, yeah.

Martha McKinnon (12:19)
Yeah. And so, so I think that that can happen. And sometimes you need a reality check, you know, momentum can build, I think in either direction and you can get to the point. And I mean, and that can happen where people sometimes, again, and this can happen where suddenly you get to your goal weight and I’ve seen this and suddenly it’s like, well, but I’ll just lose five more pounds or 10 more pounds. It’s like, well, I don’t really feel the way I thought it would feel.

Peter Morrison (12:26)
You’re right.

Martha McKinnon (12:43)
So I’m going to just keep going and that can get really dangerous too, right? Because it’s like, you may again need some benchmarks in the other direction to say, well, as far as a healthy person, this probably is as far as you need to go. So I think technically what they would call that would be a distorted body image. I mean, I think that that’s the terminology that they would say that somehow your perception of where you are doesn’t match sort of the objective reality of it. And I think that that is pretty common. I think it’s probably if it’s something that you really struggle with, of course, there’s probably outside help that you would want to seek out for that. But if it’s just that sort of normal sense, I think it’s just something you want to be aware of. The other thing Patty was looking for was like, how do you deal with that?

Peter Morrison (13:30)
Hmm.

Martha McKinnon (13:30)
How do you handle that? I think there are lots of, you know, our society I think can contribute to it, right? I think that the expectation about what we’re supposed to look like can be pretty unrealistic, right? Compared to what media puts out there versus what’s real. Things that people have said to us in our past, maybe as children can really stick with us and keep us seeing ourselves or thinking of ourselves as…

You know, mean, dad never meant to say anything to me that would stay with me, but he once called me his big husky daughter. And that still runs through my mind. I don’t think it would matter how slender I got it. In some moments, I’m always going to feel like the big husky girl, you know. So you have to just know that. And I think I realize it and know that just because you think it doesn’t mean it’s true. Right. And so step back and just sort of check with yourself and ask yourself, well, I’m feeling like my thighs are really heavy, but is that really true? So always be asking yourself those questions. And then I think just lots of self-compassion. I think we just have to learn to interact with ourselves and talk with ourselves the way we would talk with a really dear friend. And I think…

Peter Morrison (14:53)
Mm-hmm.

Martha McKinnon (14:54)
Sometimes the messaging, the things we say to ourselves sometimes we would never I mean we would just never say those things to somebody we loved and cared about. We need to love and care about ourselves enough to have a different conversation with ourselves and to be willing to say to ourselves what we would say to somebody else. You know and to know forever I mean your our self-worth is never ever tied to a number on the scale or what we look like, right? That our self-worth is totally distinct and totally separate.

And the other thing, so in addition to being really compassionate with yourself and giving yourself lots of, you know, positive self-talk and then checking, you know, checking that the thinking in your head and really challenging, is this really true or is this just some old, you know, memory from decades ago?

And then just, I think, being less focused on the number of the scale or being less focused on how we look and more attuned with all of the wonderful things our body does for us and how we feel. Be grateful that our legs allow us to climb up the stairs, empower us through our days and our arms are able to hug the people we care about. I think just shifting, again, pivoting our thinking around this can be really, really helpful.

There’s so much written around the power of that self-compassion and I’ve been doing quite a bit of playing with meditation, mindfulness meditation for a couple of years now. There’s just so much research that shows this power of really sending yourself and talking to yourself in a positive way and can be really beneficial for your overall health and wellness. So there’s my thoughts around that.

Peter Morrison (16:44)
Well, I totally agree with the self value and the not equivalent to a number on a scale. However, with having less experience with Weight Watchers than you do, I’m thinking about the goal weight.

Martha McKinnon (16:51)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Peter Morrison (17:11)
Is any Weight Watchers member free to pick whatever goal weight, I mean are there guidelines, because at the end of the day, the Weight Watchers program is still about achieving that target.

Martha McKinnon (17:18)
Mm hmm. Right. And that’s a really good question. And so, and I don’t know if like, because I haven’t been a Weight Watchers leader in many years now, and I don’t know if they’ve changed it. But when I was there, basically, there was a range, like what was considered a healthy range, which I think would be based on BMI. So there was a very generous healthy range for your given height. And you were welcome, to choose your weight, you choose your goal based on that healthy range.

Peter Morrison (17:37)
Okay.

Martha McKinnon (17:46)
Now if for some reason you wanted to choose a goal weight that was, and so we have to be really careful too, because there have been people who wanted to enter Weight Watchers who weren’t even, they were below the lowest weight on the weight range. Right. So they clearly had some eating, they had some disordered body image and or eating issues where you’re like, you’re not really, you can’t even come to Weight Watchers because you, have to be at least five pounds above the low end of the range.

That’s just a, and that’s a health, that’s a health prevention against people who are, who have some real issues around disorder eating. You don’t want to be encouraging that. And then on the other end of the spectrum, let’s say that that let’s say like 165 is the high end of the healthy range. And, but you know, you’re happy at 175, you know, you feel really good in your head and you’re feeling great. You just need a doctor’s note to say that your doctor agrees that that would be a healthy goal weight for you and you bring in that note and then you can even, you can have a goal weight that exceeds the high end. So it’s a really liberal policy. It was when I last was familiar with it.

Peter Morrison (18:55)
Mm-hmm. Okay. Good.

Martha McKinnon (18:59)
Anything else? I was just waiting for you. thought you might have a question or follow up.

Peter Morrison (19:02)
No, no, I was thinking back to if we addressed all of her comments and I think I was just skimming it again.

Martha McKinnon (19:09)
So just want to say thanks, Patty, for that because that was really heartfelt. I think that was a very personal share and I appreciate it because it did bring up a lot for me. And I think it’s really going to be helpful for many readers who have had similar feelings and experiences. So thank you very much for that.

Alright, so that’s the end, guess of our third podcast. So thank you so much for tuning in. And we’d love to have you subscribe if you’re so inclined and if you have and share the video with anybody whom you think might find it helpful. And if you have ideas or suggestions for other topics that you would like to have explored.

Peter Morrison (19:37)
Podcast number three. Or share this video with anyone you feel might find it helpful.

Martha McKinnon (20:00)
Please share them in the comments below and we’ll see you again soon. Take care. Bye bye.

Peter Morrison (20:03)
Thank you. Have a great day.

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The post Dealing with the Disconnect: Distorted Body Image appeared first on Simple Nourished Living.